Frank Kern's Mass Control Sucks

Now we haven't been provided with a free review copy by Frank, in much the same way as Michael Koenigs failed to provide us with a free trial of his Traffic Geyser service, so how can we be so hasty in our judgement given that the product doesn't launch for another hour.  At least when we declared that Affiliate Video Brander sucks we had tried the product.  We even made a video demonstrating it's shortcomings.

Well, it's all down to the marketing.  We're very familiar with the way the pay per click game works, and if you've been following our progress here on our blog you'll see we learn fast.  These days we're no slouches at the natural search game either.  The fake review page, such as Frank Kern's http://www.masscontrolreview.com, is familiar territory for us.  How can we sure it  belongs to Frank you may ask.  It's got his picture on it, sure, but as we well know using an affiliate video brander is all the rage these days.  Well it's an educated guess, but Frank provides a link to the site in yesterdays press release "Mass Control Marketing Revealed By Maniac Surfer Frank Kern".

Now let's go take a look at the search listings in the run up to zero hour by first of all doing a Google search for Mass Control.  MassControlReview.com is right there on the first page at number 5.  This time let's search for Frank Kern Mass Control.  You can see at number 4 in the paid search listings an ad entitled Frank Kern Sucks?  Now this is a title we'll be going to use later on if we find a need to give our traffic an emergency boost.  The thing is though, if you clicked on our ad you'll end up on this post, which is undeniably of the opinion that Frank Kern sucks.  Now click on that other ad.  You'll end up on another fake review page that says "A brutally honest review of Frank Kern's Mass Control." However for some strange reason there is an affiliate link at the bottom saying "Click Here to Invest in Mass Control AND get your Limited Bonuses" in big blue letters.

Excuse me just a moment.  It's less than 45 minutes to launch, so I'm going to go away and click publish, and come back and finish this post after I've had a cup of coffee. Always assuming I'm not feeling too sick to drink it, of course.

P.S. I never did get to drink that cup of coffee.  Not for the reason you're thinking though.  I watched our search results for an hour or so, firing off emails with progress reports.  We got to number 1 on Google for our longest tail target keyphrase before that hour was over.

Content with that I went for a walk with Dave, the amazing guy who does the music for our internet videos.  It was good to clear the stench from our nostrils.  The sun had already gone down, so we didn't make it all the way to Traffic Heaven.  Nestled in the hills, gazing out towards the ocean with a fresh breeze in our faces, a nagging thought started at the back of my mind.  Some people might find it disturbing, but in all the circumstances I found it remarkably refreshing.

"What if the masses don't want to be controlled?"

Affiliate Video Brander Sucks

We created a video to demonstrate why we say this so bluntly.  Filmed partly on location at the Traffic Heaven Secret Headquarters, and partly screen capture, here is the first rush:

I don't know about you, but for the last few days my inbox has been bombarded by people promoting Affiliate Video Brander. I wonder if any of them have actually tried using it? Now I'm also getting emails from marketers enticing me with all the wonderful extra bonuses I'll get if I buy from them, as long as I can wait until January 30th, when everyone who has bought resale rights is allowed to start selling their own version of the product. 

The resale rights licence states that "WHILE THIS SOFTWARE HAS BEEN TESTED AND PROVEN TO RUN ACCURATELY, IN THE UNLIKELY EVENT OF ANY USER OR COMPUTER INCOMPATIBILITY ISSUES, THE RESELLER ASSUMES COMPLETE LIABILITY" so I guess that means the buck doesn't stop on Eric or Michael's desk after January 29th.  It will be very interesting, not to mention entertaining, to see how this one develops over the next few days and weeks.

P.S. I clicked the "Publish" button about 10 minutes ago.  This page is currently ranked 114 in the Google natural search rankings for the keyphrase affiliate video brander and is at number 20 for affiliate video brander review.  Our new YouTube video is ranked at number 6 on a Google Video search for affiliate video brander